Recently, I posted a list of 13 Beliefs of Good Coaches. This is the second installment as we dive deeper into the mindset of great coaching.
One of my favorite quotes from the legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden is, “Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.”
I imagine you have asked the question, “Why is my team so dysfunctional?” Coaching a group of young people is like herding cats. Frustration is just part of the job, right? What if it’s not. Your athletes may not be the problem. Hold onto your hat, that dysfunction might just be your fault!
A coach’s lack of self-awareness is often at the heart of a sports team’s dysfunction (Jones & Wallace, 2010). The next time you are frustrated and pondering why your team seems so maladjusted I want you to stop and ask a different question. Ask, “What does it actually feel like to play for a coach like me?” Great coaches are in tune with that sense. Great coaches ask the humbling questions. And beyond that, great coaches accept the tough answers to those humbling questions.
No one is saying self-awareness is easy. In fact, there are many reasons why you may become disconnected with your players. The following are three of the prime, and most deeply human, forces conspiring to make coaches so clueless.
Coaches are, like everyone, self-deceiving. Research has consistently shown that all people tend to be poor judges of their own actions and accomplishments. We suffer from “self-enhancement bias” (Lau & Russell, 1980). This occurs when you believe you are “better than the rest”, and have a hard time accepting or remembering any evidence to the contrary. In a US College Board survey of nearly a million high school seniors, 70% claimed to have above average leadership skills; only 2% claimed they were below average.
Compelling research by David Dunning has shown that the most incompetent people tend to be the ones that make the most inflated self-assessments. Coaches aren’t immune to this form of self-delusion. As it turns out, players, assistant coaches, administrators, and peers consistently provide better information about a coach’s strengths, weaknesses, and styles than the coach himself. Beware! There is a huge difference between a GLOAT and a GOAT, be humble.
Coaches are, like leaders everywhere, oblivious to those around them. When anyone is put in a position of authority, members of the group watch that individual continuously and very closely for any shift in behavior or mood. The problem is, many coaches don’t do the same for those they lead. Remember when you were an athlete, more often than not you knew instantly when your coach was in a bad mood, sometimes even before she knew it herself. Could your coach same the same about you? Wayward Coaches often are blind to what their players are really doing and feeling. Instead, Wayward Coaches are focused on their own personal needs and desires. Beware! Humbleness requires an acute awareness of what your players are feeling and doing.
Coaches are, like all leaders, insulated from the negative. As Jeff Pfeffer and Bob Sutton discuss in Hard Facts, leaders routinely “shoot the messenger”. When you jump the bearer of bad news there is a rippling out of consequences. These authors call it the “Mum Effect”, people (players, asst. coaches, etc.) will often soften bad news when they have to be the messenger. Even if they weren’t responsible for creating the bad news in the first place. Beware! You must stay humble to the fact that those around you work very hard to keep you happy.
When you consider just these three human tendencies, you begin to appreciate how easy it is to lose the sense of humility all great coaches possess. In most cases, it is not that Wayward Coaches are arrogant or egotistical people. They are just human. They are unaware of the natural tendencies that being in a position of leadership brings with it. Humble coaches realize the people around them watch, analyze, and react to everything they say and do. Great coaches work to make adjustments to help their players think independently and express themselves without reservation.
Jones, R. L., & Wallace, M. (2005). Another bad day at the training ground: Coping with ambiguity in the coaching context. Sport, education and society, 10(1), 119-134.
Lau, R. R., & Russell, D. (1980). Attributions in the sports pages. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 39(1), 29-38.
Dunning, D. (2012). Self-insight: Roadblocks and detours on the path to knowing thyself. Psychology Press.
Pfeffer, J., & Sutton, R. I. (2006). Hard facts, dangerous half-truths, and total nonsense: Profiting from evidence-based management. Harvard Business Press.
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